When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that they are likeable,
interesting and pleasant to be with.
Until quite recently it was believed that personality is
permanent. In 1890 William James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his
influential work The Principles of Psychology, that personality was "set in plaster"
by early adulthood. This view prevailed for over a century; however,
the idea that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now
at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over which traits
and characteristics we want to develop or refine.
The "personality" is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaviors that
make a person unique. When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean
that they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with. Everyone wants to be
attractive to others. To that end, having a good personality is vital - probably
even more so than good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success
and happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately,
it is your personality that determines whether people are attracted to, or shy away
from you. While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we have the ability
to improve the personality as much as we want. We can develop or integrate any trait
we deem fitting and agreeable.
Here are some ways we can accomplish
this:
- 1. Be a better listener: Jacqueline
Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world because
she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She was known for the
way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them
feel important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you
intently making you feel like you're the only person in the world.
- 2. Read more and expand your interests:
The more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting you are to
others. When you meet new people it gives you the opportunity to share what you
know and to exchange your views with them.
- 3. Be a good conversationalist:
This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn
how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know everything, so it's
refreshing to learn from others those things we don't have the time to about read
ourselves. If you happen to be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages
you to talk about what you know.
- 4. Have an Opinion: There is nothing
more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A conversation
has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon
point of view or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to
be with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands
everyone's perspective.
- 5. Meet New People: Make the effort
to meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to different
cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens your horizons.
-
6. Be yourself: The next most
tiresome thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding
yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us
is unique, expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to
be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a lack of authenticity.
- 7. Have a positive outlook and attitude:
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing
good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming. Instead, be the kind
of upbeat person who lights up a room with your energy when you enter it. Do it
by looking for the best in people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and
enliven others with your presence.
- 8. Be fun and see the humorous side of life:
Everyone enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile, so look
for the humorous, quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief
is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and lightheartedness
to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will naturally be attracted to you,
not to mention grateful.
- 9. Be supportive of others: Being
supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate into your personality.
Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support for others when they need it. We
all love a cheerleader in our corner; someone who is encouraging believes in us
and helps pick us up when we're down.
- 10. Have Integrity and treat people with
respect: Being honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration,
respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than
integrity and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.
We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities however we wish.
When we develop ourselves to be all that we can be, we contribute to our own, as
well as the happiness of others.
Courtesy: Essential Life Skills.net
