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By Way2k Way2k
Way2k 5 Oct 2012
Anxiety among both students and parents

Exams cause much anxiety among both students and parents. Some introspection as far as the parents' personal life / academic records would help them deal with their anxiety about the child's performance in a different way. How much has the parents studied It is likely that if they have not got an opportunity to study as much as they wished for, they might like to provide the best facilities and in return have high expectations from the child. Did they (or either of them) always score high marks,

Anxiety among both students and parents

If yes: If the parent has been the performer / high scorer, in all probability s/he may find it difficult to accept poor performance from the child (How can my child be poor in studies)

If no: Then the unfulfilled desire of childhood may drive the parent to fulfill that through the child. All this is an unconscious process) The bottom line is that everything comes back to the parent's life. If the parent has had a healthy, happy and contented childhood, which results in him / her leading a fulfilling and satisfying life, then there are lesser chances that s / he would make unrealistic and unreasonable demands on the child at the cost of his innocence and happiness and hurt him for life?
Some points for introspection:
How much do you believe in your child's capabilities? Do you believe that s/he is not making use of his potential Is this belief based on concrete evidence? How many times do you get angry with him because of lack of academic performance? What do you do when you get angry? What is your involvement with the child's academics on a day to day basis?

Has your involvement with the child been consistent As exam times approach, is the atmosphere at home tense (the child is grounded, not allowed to talk on the phone, not allowed to go out, the cable connection is cut off, you reschedule your engagements to allow you to spend more time at home (assuming you are helping the child), whenever you are talking to someone the topic revolves around the child's exam/ or anxiety about child's performance) How would you rate your bonding with your child (minus the academics )? Do you discuss / have conversations with your child about general things also or does any conversation have to begin and end with studies. Such an exploration can have a very positive impact on the parent child relationship and the best person to facilitate this is a qualified counsellor. By Meera Ravi is a counsellor

Courtesy: Times of India

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